AI Data Centers Are Pissing Everyone off—So Jason Kelce Wants To Take the Piss

Every now and again, I think about the time in 2018 I split a near-$100 cab from New Jersey to Philadelphia to watch the Philadelphia Eagles’ parade to celebrate their first-ever Super Bowl victory—and, particularly, to see the team’s longtime center Jason Kelce scream into a microphone while dressed as a mummer. “Everybody wonders why we’re so mean, everybody wonders why the Philadelphia Eagles aren’t the nicest fans,” he bellowed. “If I don’t eat breakfast, I’m pissed off.” 

Turns out it wasn’t the first time that Kelce would rechannel his ire towards a greater good—nor make a good “piss” reference while he was at it.

On Tuesday, beer company Garage Beer—which is co-owned by Kelce and his (ahem) objectively less cool younger brother—and Liquid Death—a canned water goliath—uploaded a campaign video that curiously begins with a shot of Kelce from behind, standing in front of a toilet. It pans to him, who says, “AI data centers waste millions of gallons of water.” The reel cuts to a roll of a mason jar full of straw-colored liquid, with Kelce holding it up and continuing, “That’s why Liquid Death and Garage Beer decided to team up. We want your pee to cool these data centers.” The video gets more absurd as it goes on, with Kelce eventually launching into a full-on jingle.

temperature check on public AI sentiment: Kelce brother ad focused on mailing piss jars to data centers https://t.co/8Nssijq8G5

— rat king 🐀 (@MikeIsaac) August 18, 2026

 

“We want your pee, please give us your pee,” he sings. “Let’s pee on computers together. Cause we need lots of pee, endless gallons of pee. Join our important endeavor.” He’s joined by the Liquid Death mascot and various other people, holding their own receptacles and tumblers of urine.

“We want your pee, please give us your pee. Let’s pee on computers together to save humanity, we want your pee.” (Fine, fine, I’ll add it to my songs-by-Kelce regimen.) All this is much funnier considering Kelce’s 13-year career at the Eagles—because, well, if you could rank in order which NFL fanbase would ever go through with this… I’m sure Philadelphians would be up there.   

The video was co-written by comedian Sabrina Jalees, and ends with a call for people to “send your pee to the AI data center of your choice.” 

Garage Beer appears to have launched the campaign ad with Liquid Death given their large concern over data centers’ documented disruptions for local water sources, given their main offerings are beer and water. “For us, it’s always been about forming relationships and building alongside people and brands that believe what we believe in,” Garage Beer CEO Andy Sauer told USA Today. “In this case, it’s enjoying a Garage Beer or Liquid Death energy and peeing on data centers to help save the world’s water supply.” 

As a personal fan of water and beer? I, too, feel swayed by the vitriol. So much so that I’m willing to believe we can pee the AI away. Ah, what the hell. Wee can do it.