It’s Still Celebrity Wedding Season

There were competing celebrity weddings over the weekend—or rather, in one case, a celebrity-attended wedding. No shade to Laura Sisk and Oli Jacobs, but I’m not sure there is such thing as a “celebrity sound engineer” (though to be fair, if there is, that’s what they are. They’ve both got Grammys and have produced music for Swift; he’s also worked with Harry Styles, Doja Cat, and Kendrick Lamar, and she’s worked with Lorde, Clairo, and St. Vincent). Their nuptials in England were attended by Taylor Swift, Phoebe Bridgers, and Sabrina Carpenter, and officiated by Jack Antonoff. 

Across the globe, bonafide celebs Jordyn Woods and Karl-Anthony Towns got married in Malibu, with a guest list of Towns’ Knicks teammates like Jalen Brunson; Knicks superfans like Timothee Chalamet and Ben Stiller; celebrities like Teyana Taylor, Keegan-Michael Key, Justin Bieber, and Jaden Smith; and some guests so random it felt like Taylor and Travis Kelce’s wedding all over again, like Love Island’s Nic Vansteenberghe and Olandria Carthen. The happy couple appear to have asked their guests to wear all black, which looked chic as hell in group pictures, even if some of the individual dresses looked a little off: Kylie Jenner showed off a lot of torso, and Hailey Bieber looked like she was going to prom in 2004. 

Multiple celebrity news outlets have reported that Woods and Towns’ wedding favors included hoodies saying “Married in 5,” a cute nod to what all of us bandwagon Knicks fans were saying in June (“Knicks in 5!”), but in the few photos of the sweatshirts I’ve seen, it looks very much like they say “Married in 15.” The two got engaged in December after five years of dating, so “married in 5” would make slightly more sense (even though it would be more like six years by now) … but it really looks like “15.” Internet friends, is there some Jordyn/Karl-Anthony lore about the number 15?? (Before you ask, no, it’s not his jersey number.)

Speaking of lore around numbers, numerology queen Swift debuted a new-slash-old hairstyle that strongly hearkens back to her 1989 era: shoulder length, side part, and aggressively side-swept bangs. (As I’m sure you can imagine, the Taylor stans are dying to know what it means.) She was sans football husband at the wedding, since he had to work (aka play in the Chiefs’ first preseason game in Kansas City), but appears to have brought her brother, Austin Swift, as her plus one. During the ceremony, she sat in the second row between him and Bridgers, which we know thanks to grainy paparazzi drone photos. I hate that those exist, but on the other hand, they also showed that Antonoff was officiating, which gave us this unfortunately quite funny Twitter comment: “Poor Jack officiating while going through a divorce.”

In any case, mazel tov to the newlyweds! May their marriages be long and happy (or at least longer and happier than that of Antonoff and Margaret Qualley, who didn’t make it past the three-year mark). 

• Really heartbreaking to wake up and see that Hayden Panettiere has died at age 36. [TMZ]
• Kaia Gerber had an exorcism. OK! [The Cut]
• I hate Vogue’s Cristiano Ronaldo cover, but maybe that’s just because I hate Cristiano Ronaldo. [Vogue]
• Halle Berry is 60, good lord. [Instagram]
• And Elizabeth Olsen is a mom. [Page Six]
• And Salma Hayek is a (step) grandma! [InStyle]

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