Gavel-Expectant Hakeem Jeffries Is Already Embarrassing Himself

Welcome back to Monday Barf Bag.

With the midterms looming and a big blue wave looking more and more likely to deliver a big blue rout for the GOP’s trifecta come November, House Minority Leader Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-New York) appears to be getting ready to become the next House Speaker. How do we know? Because, at this point, it feels like possessing the gavel entails also being a massive embarrassment for your party. 

If they did, however, it begs the question: how the fuck does one find common ground with a federal government that won’t stop drooling over rewriting the Constitution, that screws women over with every one of its Gilead-coded moves, and that’s apparently also made a habit lately of sending wild horses to their death?? Let’s also not forget that in October, to blame the longest-ever shutdown on Dems, Trump posted a wildly racist AI-generated video depicting Jeffries in a sombrero and fake mustache, standing next to Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) and saying undocumented immigrants should get free healthcare. So call me crazy… but all things considered (and more), such middle ground sounds hard to find.

Even more difficult to imagine is how the two managed to find anything agreeable on topics like housing, immigration, and the affordability crisis—all of which were on the agenda, per the five sources that knew about the meeting happening and spoke to the NYT. (At least two of them also confirmed Kushner told Jeffries he should speak with White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, so here’s to hoping he gets the right number if he does.) But, still, I’m curious. Where did Jeffries stand on the $3 depression meal, or the anti-immigrant campaign capturing and force-feeding its detainees? Where was his middle ground??

Moreover, this is about dealing with a GOP that would rather screw over its constituents than be a team player—including on the topics above—with Trump as early as last month sinking a bipartisan housing bill that 89% of U.S. voters apparently were in support of, all for his precious SAVE America Act. (As you know, the SAVE Act is an ill-disguised attempt to legislate voter suppression and—in his words—“guarantee the midterms.”) Not to mention, of course, the GOP going full red-scare against progressive Dems as of late.

To top the shitstorm off, Kushner’s not even a part of the current administration. Instead, he’s spent the last 21 months making PowerPoints about funneling more money into Gazans’ suffering, collecting participation clout for involving himself in the administration’s foreign affairs, and—coincidence?—continuing to tend to his financial and business ties. 

Still, all this makes crystal clear that maybe I’ve been too hard on House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.). Because nevermind that he monitors porn intake with his son, who’s evidently sick of his job, and probably so because he seems to put his foot in his mouth every time he talks—but really, maybe being an embarrassment is just a key qualification for the title.

More barf:

• First Lady Melania Trump made her first (public) appearance of the month—and the 39th of the year. At least she made people laugh while she was at it. (People)
• Vice President JD Vance appeared with his family at a Waffle House. Jezebel has yet to find out if any boos ensued. Also: Did he teleport to the location like other Trump admin members are known to do? (Cincinnati Enquirer)
• Newly resurfaced tweets show Natalie Harp apparently had quite the Twitter screentime on Jan. 6. (CNN)
• Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy accidentally revealed his ringtone while speaking at a podium. It was… fitting. (Daily Beast)
• White House Propaganda Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt’s told Americans what her next gig would be—and literally no one’s surprised. (NBC News)
• There are too many Dan Sullivans in Alaska’s Senate race. (NBC News)