Pondering All the Things Kaia Gerber Would Possibly Write ‘Not Human’ Fan-Fiction About

Kaia Gerber is adding another hyphen to her multi-hyphenate résumé: The model-actress-nepo baby can now add author to the list of things she sometimes does, because on a Wednesday episode of Jake Shane’s podcast, Therapuss, Gerber revealed that she writes fan fiction. Fun!

“I write fan fiction,” she told Shane, “It’s so fun to write something even if you don’t put it [out]. I write fan fiction, and I don’t put it anywhere. I just like it.” Love that for her, but then Shane inquires about what kind of fan fiction she writes. Twilight? 1D? What would a 20-something model who has dated both Jacob Elordi and Lewis Pullman possibly have to fantasize about? She’s already had it all. She is currently starring in Ryan Murphy’s adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis’s The Shards. Could it be the source material inspired her?

She replies: “You know what I’ll say, it’s not a human. There you go, next question.” Unfortunately, we only have more questions. Now I have to ponder all the things “not a human” could possibly mean.

• A Labubu?
• Jacob Elordi in Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein?
• The new Wicker Man?
• Claude x ChatGPT? (Will they/Won’t they)
• The fox from Zootopia voiced by Jason Bateman?
• A remarkably bright creature? (IDK I haven’t read the book)
• Pete Davidson?

Wait, I have it—Minions.

The first time Gerber “spoke publicly” about her affinity for penning her own fantasies was during some Shards press with co-star Graham Campbell. After the interviewer brought up the subject, Gerber said: “You know I write fan fiction?”

“It’s not Shards fan fiction, but I, honestly, should start writing Shards fanfic,” she added. “I don’t know if I’ve ever spoken about it publicly, but I do write it. It’s not under my name, but I do write fan fiction.” Interesting. This would imply that she does post online somewhere under a pseudonym, despite telling Shane she keeps it for herself. If she does publish it anonymously, where? And again, what does Kaia write fan fiction about??? She told Campbell it’s “not important,” but blink once if it’s Minions.

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s move on,” she said.

Why so shy, Kaia? You will have to tell us eventually. And we will only keep asking you. 

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