Comment of the Week: ‘Injections of Testosterone Will Continue…’
The Abraham Lincoln aircraft carrier has been stranded at sea for nine months. Does Pete Hegseth have a plan to bring it to port?
Photos: Unsplash/Vidar Nordli-Mathisen, Twitter/@SecWar Politics pete hegseth
This week, Splinter reported on the unfortunate developments aboard the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln, whose 5,000 crew members have now been stranded at sea for more than 250 days, a record high for a U.S. aircraft carrier in modern times.
Typically, carriers return to port every 30-40 days, but thanks to the Trump administration’s failure to end the Iran War, the USS Lincoln has been in limbo for nearly nine months, and those on board are experiencing poor living conditions, morale lows, and mental health crises. Multiple sailors have attempted to jump overboard as months and months have passed, and on Monday, Rep. Mike Levin (D-Calif.) outlined the worsening conditions as reported by military families: “Moldy showers, broken toilets, laundry down for weeks, long stretches with no hot water, a meal that came down to half a cup of rice and two tortillas. No soap, deodorant, or toothpaste,” he wrote.
What are our executive powers and the Department of War Defense doing to bring an end to the conflict and bring this ship to port? Glad you asked! Secretary Pete Hegseth has been working very hard, and by “working very hard” I mean making angry social media PSAs hawking testosterone therapy instead of actually resolving the issue—because the one thing a war needs is more testosterone! Last month, Hegseth announced his initiative to screen the military for testosterone levels every year and offer TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) to men who aren’t adequately T’ed up. With that in mind, this week’s Comment of the Week goes to reader Glabrous Bear, who had the right idea of what Hegseth’s plan might be to course-correct USS Lincoln: Just be manlier.
Injections of testosterone will continue until morale improves.
I wouldn’t be surprised if this were their actual solution. It would still be an improvement over their usual game plan: deny and deflect. What else did we expect when we put a raging gym bro in charge?
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